Since 2020, in Lithuania, in disputes over children during divorce, it has been mandatory to try family mediation before going to court. Although it still seems like a formal step to some people, official data shows that almost half of family disputes in mediation end in peaceful agreements. We talk to lawyer, Kazimieras Simonavičius University professor and mediator Dr. Rokas Uscila about how mediation works in practice and why it often becomes a better alternative to court.
Lithuania has been providing mediation services for twenty years. What does this say about our state?
This is a significant sign of the maturity of the state. By establishing mandatory mediation, the state shows trust in its citizens and recognizes their ability to resolve conflicts independently. Family disputes are among the most sensitive, because they address mutual relationships, children’s interests and other issues of everyday life. Therefore, it is important that such conflicts are resolved through dialogue, through talking and seeking consensus.
Why is mediation considered an effective alternative to court?
A court proceeding inevitably implies a decision made “from above”, while in mediation decisions are formed by the parties to the dispute themselves. Such decisions are usually more sustainable and easier to implement, because they are reached by agreement. A person implements a court decision because “it is necessary”, while a decision made in mediation – because he or she has decided so.
Mediation works, and we can illustrate this with facts. According to the State Guaranteed Legal Aid Service, thousands of cases are referred to mandatory mediation, and approximately half of family disputes end in peaceful agreements. This is a significant indicator that reveals the benefits of mediation.
And what happens to the rest of society that refuses mediation?
Although mediation in family disputes is mandatory as a procedural step before going to court, the agreement itself remains voluntary – neither party can be forced to agree. In such a case, the mediator issues a certificate confirming that mediation was attempted or that the other party refused to participate in it. Then the dispute is transferred to the court, which decides on issues related to children (determination of place of residence, contact order, maintenance, etc.).
The state offers eight free hours of mediation. Is that enough?
Eight hours is better than the previous six, but in reality they are very often not enough. Let’s imagine: a divorcing couple has a lot of issues in their dispute that need to be resolved – from housing, loans, child support, contact order with the child to vacations or even moving to another country. All this needs to be “fitted” into the limited time of eight hours.
Naturally, some issues are transferred to private mediation – not because people do not want state-funded assistance, but because they feel the point of continuing negotiations and seeking an agreement, but the state “basket” is already exhausted.
In order for the state to continue improving mediation services, it is also necessary to seriously consider increasing its funding. Currently, the fee set for mediators is low, and after all, we are talking about highly qualified specialists, great tension and responsibility.
Who is a mediator and what qualities does he need?
In Lithuania, there are currently about 650 specialists on the list of mediators. The majority of them are lawyers, but there are also psychologists, social workers, and professionals in other fields among mediators.
In order to become a mediator, desire alone is not enough. You need to have a university education, complete special training, pass a state exam, and meet the criteria of an impeccable reputation.
Personal qualities are also extremely important in this work: the ability to listen, not create additional tension, control the conversation.
People who come to mediation are in great emotional tension – two energies, two oppositions. If the mediator himself becomes part of the conflict, everyone loses.
Therefore, the mediator must act as a neutralizing force and at the same time create a safe space where people can talk even about very sensitive, sometimes intimate matters. He must be a guide and in no way try to impose his decision on the conflicting parties. The mediator’s main duty is to help people figure things out for themselves and find solutions.
